What A Difference A Day Makes

I had a verbal altercation with Melissa last night, it was something between her and me, but Darrell jumped in and told me to stop. I told him that it had nothing to do with him, he yelled at me that it was his house. I made a comment that he should go break something (he broke his hand and several glasses the other night because he was pissed). This morning he leaves me a note, not in an envelope to keep it private, but out in the open so everyone else could read it; "Rynn, you have no respect for me... ...So you have 30 days to move out."

What the fuck!? I mean, if he's upset with me he could talk to me instead of throwing me out. I'm going to try to talk to him tonight when he gets home but I might be homeless again. It must be me because this has happened too often for it to be other people.

I wish I could say that I could see what I did that was wrong, but I can't. Darrell's argument is always that its his house and always jumps in on heated conversations when it has nothing to do with him. It wasn't like we were yelling at each other, we were having a disagreement.

I'm not sure what I'll do, I'll talk to him tonight and see if we can work it out but I might be looking for a place.

It seems it would be better if I lived alone.

Quiet

I'm alone in the house. It's so quiet. Even though it's raining, I have
the windows open a little, and I can hear birds calling to each other.
I feel alone but not lonely. I sat out in the living room and watched
someTV on the channels I don't get because I don't have a cable box
yet. It felt uncomfortable, as if I was being watched, so although I
have run of the house I'm in my room with the door shut, Maudry on my lap, Jocelyn on the pillows behind me, and I'm writing this.

I left the window at the head of my bed open last night and listened to
the frogs singing. It's such a comforting sound, like falling not quite
asleep in the back seat of the car as a child; hearing nothing but the
car's engine and that moment when we arrived home and the car was shut
off - that moment just before my mom said, "Home again, home again,
jig-a-de-jig," the songs of the frogs lifting me up as if I were flying.

I miss those moments.

Weather

Yesterday it was 85 degrees and I got a bit of a sunburn.

Yay.

Today, although it is sunny, it's 55 degrees and windy.

Slightly less yay.

It's supposed to rain this weekend.

Boo.

And now, here's Karl with sports...

Yesterday

From bad to worse...

Right after I posted yesterday Theanna noticed that there was a puddle in front of the porch - the septic system is full and backing up into the lawn. There was a madening dash to try to figure out how to pay for it and who could we call to get it fixed. Theanna had to take Ian to his girlfriend's house and when she was gone Rob showed up. Darrell had gone to work and The's car was gone so he backed up to leave and drove his car off the driveway and into the ditch; the back right wheel was off the ground and quite frightening to look at.

Theanna came back, then Ron showed up it was like having a town meeting at the end of the driveway. After about an hour and a half the towtruck came and pulled Rob's car out of the ditch, he and Ron left and it was just Theanna and I in the house. It was so nice and quiet.

And today its sunny and 70 degrees.

That's all for now - I want to go out and enjoy the weather.

I Need To Vent

I'm in the middle of fucking nowhere, Hot Fuzz opens today, the only theater in the fucking state that's showing it is in Portland. I made a deal with Theanna that I would pay for her gas, ticket, and lunch if we could see it today. I even explained why it was important to me to go the first weekend. As we were leaving Augusta the other day I saw that the gas gage was on E so I offered to fill her tank then, rather than Friday because I knew she had no money. $26 later plus snacks for her and Aidan and everything is fine.

Yesterday she tells me that it doesn't look good for the movie because she has papers to write for school. I start to get pissed, then she goes and takes a nap, now I am pissed. Rather than taking that time to write, she sleeps.

This morning I ask her what the plan is and she says that its the same; writing her papers. Now I'm really pissed but I take a breath and tell her that she'll need to pay me for the gas from the other day because that was the deal - I would pay for her gas and we would go to the movies. She said, okay, or right or something like that.

I need to get to a real place, I can't stand that I'm stuck in this fucking house because I took her at her word. Why can't anyone keep their word?

I want to go home.

I'm Sick Again

Or possibly still, it feels the same as the other 2; it starts in my throat - scratchy, unable to clear, turns into a cough, which then takes a beeline to my lungs where taking a deep breath causes squeaking like a bath toy and a long bought of coughing that brings up nothing but a feeling that I might pass out.

The water faucet nose is next, that comes with sneezing and further encourages my voice to leave posthaste in fear of... I don't know what, who can figure out a voices wants, needs and fears? Not me. Oh, the fever, its not as high as it could be, but 101 makes me light headed and prone to wobbling. Higher fever will cause me to hear conversations in the distance that aren't there every time I close my eyes.

I'm at the most fun part for a smart mouth, I've lost my voice.

Luckily, I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning, so I should be able to get something to help clear the phlegm from my lungs and throat. I can live with the stuffy nose if I have to. I'm just really over being sick.

Busy Sunday

The day started off late, I didn't wake up until noon and by the time I finished my Morning Pages it was almost 1. I wasn't sure that I was even going to get dressed, it was that kind of day. Now I sit here 2 and a half hours later with almost all the base coats on the walls. I still have to finish from the end window to the corner at the door jam, but that's only 5 % left and then I can start with the color.

I'm really tired right now but it feels good to have it almost done. Then I'll need to do the trim and make the drapes but I feel like I'm in a good place. I hope that it will be done by the end of the week, I should be able to do that. I could even finish the base coats to day, I just need to move things away from the unpainted walls. I'm going to take a little rest, relax awhile then I'll decide what I want to do. Cleaning the cat box is something I have to do as soon as I can get to the litter and the box. Still...

Happy!

Oh, by the way, Happy Pagan New Year!