Bettering Myself

I think about going back to school sometimes, but it always strikes me the same way - my stomach clinches, my skin crawls, and I feel like every screed of knowledge has escaped my brain.

I know there's online degrees but even working in my own time makes me kinda dizzy.

I wish there was a way to keep an eye on my brain so it wouldn't disappear at the thought of structured learning. I mean, there are pet ID tags then why can't we tag our thought process?

Ah well...

Thanksgiving

It's only a couple of days away and that means that the few places that haven't put up their Santas yet will soon dust off the red and white trimmings and it will be almost impossible to not be garroted by garland.

I wish that the holiday thing could be allocated to the Internet. Say you wanted to give flowers for the holiday - just go to holiday flowers and there are no crowds, no sales people either ignoring you or all but forcing you to buy ragweed with a bow.

I'm just saying.

A Recent Conversation

SPARKIE: I read that Martha Stewart only sleeps 4 hours a night.
ME: Did she learn that in prison?
S: Maybe so.
M: She was up all night grinding shivs for everyone.
S: Making shiv cozies for everyone.
M: The special touch is that she made them out of the person's hair. She was up. So she went around at night and take hair out of their brushes.
S: She's giving a dinner party of only things she's excreted from her own body.
M: Did you hear Martha's lactating?
S: Is she? I'll be there.
M: So much for me ever eating again.
S: What are you having?
M: Something really dry.
S: What? Like flour straight out of the bag?
M: Now I want to take a picture of myself eating flour looking shocked, you know all over my face.
S: You could choke, don't die for a sight gag.
M: Yeah, that would be sad.
S: "That's how she wanted to go."

We were laughing so hard I was nearly shrieking.

A favor

Hey all,

My friend, Nancy, is having a C-section tomorrow morning at 11:3oam P.S.T. to deliver her twins. They are 37 weeks old and stand a good chance of being okay. BUT just in case, please send good vibes her way - for her and the babies. The procedure should take about 45 minutes.

Confident but twitchy - Rynn