* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

It's dark, it's soft with some pokey out bits some of which are sharp and hurt; it's like anyone else's head really.


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Wednesday, January 30

Finally, some good news for a change.



Which Kids In The Hall recurring character are YOU?

Monday, January 28

It's been nearly two weeks since I gave up meat and I haven't lost a pound. I guess I'm going to have to let the sugar go, too.

Weeping, weeping...

Tuesday, January 22

I've given up meat. Not completely, not utterly, but I haven't had any in nearly a week. I'm trying to lose weight and with my knee and back acting up I can't work out.

I'm feeling really lonely. I wonder if I'll ever find someone to love and if I do if I won't panic and run.

Le sigh.

Tuesday, January 15

Today is the second anniversay of the Kids In The Hall, Same Guys, New Dresses show that I saw in the city. It is also the anniversay of me meeting Amy and Diane.

It's a good day.

Perhaps I'm just being petty but this is the obituary that appeared the Thursday after my grandmother died:

Cora Lemieux

GARDINER -- Cora Lemieux, 90, formerly of Highland Avenue, Gardiner, died Monday, Dec. 31, 2001, at Robinson's Health Care Facility, Gardiner.

She was born in Alna, Nov. 14, 1911, the daughter of Charles and Jannie (Carleton) Carleton.

Her husband, Gerard F. Lemieux, her daughters, Joan Irving and Mary Monroe, and her son, Gerard Lemieux, of Richmond, predeceased her.

Survivors include her brother, Charles Carleton and his wife, Donna, of Pittston; and several grandchildren, nieces, nephews, and cousins.

A graveside service will be held in the spring at the family lot in St. Joseph's Cemetery, Gardiner. Arrangements are under the care of Staples Funeral Home, 53 Brunswick Ave., Gardiner.

I took it upon myself to write an obituary that is not only correct but I'm not using it to get my name in the paper. (I think you can guess who sent the one that did appear in the paper.)

That being said, here is the obituary that I would have given to the paper.

GARDINER, MAINE -- Cora Madeline Lemieux died December 31, at 11:10pm EST. She was preceded in death by her husband, Gerard, who died in 1947 and all of her children: Joan Geraldine Erving (1978,) Mary Monroe (1996,) and Gerard Lemieux (2000). She has left behind a bother and sister in law, 11 grandchildren, 12 great grandchildren, and one great-great grandchild.

Cora was born November 14, 1911 in Alna, ME. She liked butterscotch sundaes and the color gray. Although she laughed until she coughed at Fawlty Towers and jokes about Tater Tots, she was put off by "foolishness." She was the type of person that loved every gift she ever received and had as many as she could on display around her home.

During the last years of her life Cora was in and out of hospitals and nursing homes, two weeks before her death she had a stoke from which she never woke. Despite a large family that lived near her, she died alone.

Grave side services will take place in the spring.

Tuesday, January 1

I found out today that my grandmother died last night less than an hour before midnight.

While I was online goofing around, my nana died.

Last night as the New Year was being rung in on the East Coast I had two very nice AIMs. One was from Steve who was called away to watch a movie with his sister and the other was with Mint Manor. Tavie was kind enough to grab everyones ass for me although there was no talk of mirrors and what one might see when squating over same.

Needless to say, I was a little hurt.

I didn't make it to midnight but woke up at nine minutes past just in time to hear what was either the last of the official fireworks or unofficial gun fire. I wished the cats Happy New Year, peed, then went back to bed.

It was an okay New Year. After I went back to bed I started feeling sorry for myself. Why was I alone on this, the most smooching of all holidays? The answer came from the Albert Brooks movie, Defending Your Life: fear. Afraid I'd be used again, afraid that I'd look like a fool, afraid that someone might love me.

It's not really a resolution, it's more like a New Years Clarity, which actually takes more work. Like an epiphany, clarity comes without warning or want.