Today, at about 5:30am, as I was leaving my humble abode, I saw a shadow on a white picked fence of the house down the block. It was of something with four legs running. I realised that I was seeing something running through the headlights of a car. I thought, "Oh, crap, a dog. Should I go back inside for a few minutes?" Then I decided no, if I did that I might be late for BART.

It is at about this point that I see the first deer.

Yes, I said, deer.

There were three in all, a mom and two babies. When they saw me they left the sidewalk and disappeared with a series of loud cracking branches through someone's yard.

Needless to say, I was jumpy during my walk to BART. I actually made it to the station five minutes earlier and caught an earlier train.

I had been gaging my day by how many kitties I saw and got to pet on my way down the hill. ("I had a two kitty morning, I had my regular kitty and a bonus kitty.") Today, I had a three deer day.

I'm feeling much better than I did when I last posted.I called my doctor and am now taking twice the amount of happy drugs than I had been and that's helping a lot. But mostly it's because I broke down and talked to the person in whom I so disappointed in. It turns out that the stab in the back was from an unseen third party. Someone whose business had no place in my friendship with A. I'm glad that I talked it out with him. I almost let the back stabbers win. I must remember to trust my intution not what someone says.

Fuck the back stabbers with the butting in noses, fuck them raw.

But not in a good way.

My darlings, I am at a wall. The antidepressants aren't working as well as they have been and although they should be up to speed in about a week I am feeling low.

I'm very sad that someone that seemed to be a good, trusted friend has gone behind my back and given up a secret to the enemy who has come back to me and slapped my wrist for something that should be none of their business. Now I have to recatagorize this person in to a pigeon hole that I do not like to use; friendly but not friends.

I seem to be being slapped by the universe for being human and having weaknesses.

I'm sad and hurt and in need of a hug.

Any takers?

Tavie is back and I'm much happier.

Have you seen Eight Legged Freaks, yet? You should. Rick is a hoot in it. He's gonna get so many offers from his role in this flick.

Tavie will be back in the country today.

I miss her.

Happy birthday, Tavie!

She is kind and loving,
She is funny til you hurt.
Her mind is as sharp
As her wit.
Her loyality is only
As strong as her ability to forgive.
She claims not to have a forte--
Silly girl.

I finished the sketch and emailed it off to Rick.

Now, I wait and see what I need to do to make it better.

I'm fairly pleased with myself that I finished it since when I started it I didn't know what the punchline would be but once I realised what it had to be, I worked towards that end.

Now, I'd like to go sweep up some more leaves before starting the second skit.

When Douglas Adams was avoiding the action of writing, he took baths.

Me?

I went outside and swept up the dead leaves. On what might be the hotest day of the year.

Me not so smart.

Now I'm out of dead leaves, so I'm off to write.

Okay, so when Rick Overton was here last month he told me that I cracked him up;
Diane showed up at the restaurant wearing a coat that she calls The
Furnace. She immediately says, "I'm so hot." I roll my eyes and say in
an angry way, "' I'm hot, I'm pretty, I've got a great ass. Would you
just *shut* *up.*" Rick said that he thought that was really funny.

::blushblush::

Now at the club the other night I was talking to Rick outside before
second the show and Ben, who works at the club, came over and hugged me while we were all talking.

I said, in a tone as if I were asking a child where their mittens were --
you know kind of high and on the edge of being helpful -- "Where's my
ass grab?" Ben grabbed my ass and I said in the same tone, "There it
is."

Long story short (too late) Rick called me the next day and told me that
I was "professionally funny" and that I should start my own comedy
troupe.

Fuck. I have been feeding on this since last Wednesday. I've fluctuated
between not being able to stop smiling, and on the verge of tears.

Today he called me to find out what I had written so far.

People, he isn't kidding when he takes someone under his wing.

I'm trying so hard to come up with some ideas that aren't KITH. I really
want to start with a character and work out from there.

Help me, I'm thinking about starting a new life.

What happens if I'm suddenly doing something I love and makes me happy?

Guess I'll find out, huh?

Well, that turned out to be nothing. I went upstairs to explain what happened yesterday and to give them my phone number and I met Mrs. Landlord getting into her car. I introduced myself again and appolgized for not doing it offically yesterday. She shook my hand and smiled. I said that I wanted to give them my number, I gestured with the post-it where I had written it, she said, "Oh, okay, you can just stick it on the door." Which I did.

I walked back past her car; I smiled and waved. She smiled and waved. I came home.

So much for that.

I didn't get my bowl. Damn.

I am a coward.

Yesterday my new landlord had a party and I was invited. I made my wonderful potato salad. I got there late because I was working till 3 and it took forever for the bus to come.

I talked to one person I didn't know and then became a wall flower. I got more and more uncomfortable until I found said landlord and told him that I would be back.

It was 5:30. I didn't go back.

Instead I went to bed and woke up to watch the fireworks that the party had and set off in pie tins floating in the pool. I watched from bed.

Now that it's many hours later, I think I was getting nervous about the drinks. I haven't had a drink since January. Mostly I deal with it in a seperate way. That is most of the people drinking are seperate from me. Yesterday, I was a part of it. I had a kids drink, no booze but eventually I had to leave before I broke down and had a real drink.

Now I get to go tell the landlord and hopfully get my bowl back.

Wish me luck.