The joys of ginger candy.

I cannot say enough good things about ginger candy. It's good for an upset stomach, chasing away the blues, and burning away a sore throat. It's a-fucking-mazing!

If you don't know what ginger candy is I'll be happy to share.

It's candied ginger. Good night everybody!

Seriously, you can get it in your local China Town or Japan town or possibly health food store. It's chewy and sticky on your teeth and the more you chew it and try to get it unstuck from your teeth the hotter it gets. As it desolves, all hot and soothing, your eyes might water, but let it happen.

It cures what ails ya.

I am so tired of being sick.

I think that not being able to sleep is part of it. Here's what happens: I can't sleep and I get weak and worn and then I get sick whereas I can do nothing but sleep then I get well and I can't sleep again. Lather, rinse, repeat.

I'm going to have to call my doctor and see if she has any ideas on what I can do. I don't want to add another RX to my daily regeme (is that how you spell that?) I already have problems remembering to take the happy drug.

Other news...

Do you think it's possible to change your life when you've lived half of it already?

Really, I'd like to know, as long as you don't tell me the Whistler's mother story.

Oh dear.

I had a very nice alone day yesterday and now today I feel very lonely. I wish I had someone to come up as I was looking out the window and hug/hold me. And spooning, wouldn't that be nice?

I guess the problem is that I can only take just so much of people and then I want to be left alone. I don't think a boyfriend would care for that so much. How do you explain to someone that you still care about them you are just sick to death of the sight of them?

Hmm?

I made ice cream from scatch today. It came out pretty good.

Tomorrow, orange sherbert.

On a down note, I'm way too fat, must move around more.

I had a dream last night that I was shopping for vanilla beans but every time I would see what I thought was a tube of beans it turned out to be a Slim Jim.

What the hell does that mean?

My cat, Maudry, is crazy for marshmellows.

Even as I write this she is trying to hook the bag off my lap with her claw.

She doesn't want a whole one, she wants to little piece off the one I'm eating.

So cute.

Jocelyn, on the other hand, doesn't understand what a marshmellow is.

Duh.

With all my lack of sleep I got the day wrong. TODAY is the anniversary of moving to the west coast.

When I think back on all I've gone through, good and bad, I wonder how I can still be this person that I've become. I have so much work to do on myself, and yet I'm a good person. I know there are some who would disagree, but they are fuck wads and got what they deserved. Am I happy? I don't think I could go that far, but I'm happier. I'm more comfortable in my skin than I have been in the past. I have so many people who love me and watch my back that I don't feel as worried as I used to.

I'm still awful with money and for someone as logical as I am, I find it amazing how really bad I am with it. I procrastinate too much with things that I should be on top of, and am on top of things that can wait. When too stressed out I tend to curl up and sleep. And I have a really hard time forgiving.

But these are things I'm working on, things that show me that my trek through this life isn't going to be easy. And according to the Death Clock I'm going to die January 19, 2062, so I'll have loads of time to enjoy the scenery and the company.

Hi, I'm Rynn and I'm a human being.

Hey, as of today I've been in the San Francisco Area for 19 years.

Meanwhile, I'm still sleepy.

What I'm about to take is not a nap, it's a matter of survival.

Oh, and I wrote some more on the Benwa Ball sketch. I'm having problems with the diologue on this one. I'll take another look at it after my matter of survival.

I didn't fall asleep until after 5 this morning.

My brain feels like it's being poked with a sharp piece of flannel.

Would someone please remind me not to take any more naps?

It's quarter past 2 in the morning and I'm wide-a-fucking-wake.

The sad part is that I only slept for about an hour this afternoon.

So unfair.