I'm on edge. Clearly. This is my third post in less than an hour. Help me. I'm drinking coffee at 7:30pm and did it knowing that I wouldn't be able to fall asleep.

How do you mend a broken heaaaaaaaart? How can a loser, ever win?

Kitana wrote it on her blog, and I'm feeling it myself: Why doesn't anyone love me? I need a hug, a reassuring whisper, and someone to hold me. Oh, and sex. I need sex.

I was going to go out tomorrow night with Di to Cobb's to see Jake Johannsen, but the check I was expecting has not yet reached my mailbox. Which is not to say that the folks upstairs couldn't be holding onto it, because I wouldn't be surprised to find out that it's just sitting on their table by the door. So, no check, no play. Sad. I've told them how important it is for me to get my mail as soon as it comes but they don't seem to understand. Telling them again will only upset me further.

Maybe I'll get back to the short story I started, depression is the perfect time to write about others' lives. People whose only problems are ghosts and the media. Oops, did I give away what I'm writing?

I've finally added a bunch of blogs and sites that I've been meaning to add forever. If I've forgotten you, please send your URL to me in email.

Thanks.

What do you do...

When your best friend has rewritten the past to have always believed in, and loved, god? And you think that she's replacing booze with church? And you're worried that it could do more damage to your friendship than PPD ever did? And your heart is heavy and pained with the idea that a fictional character could come between you and her?

Nothing. There's nothing you can do because it's her life, her decision, her obsession, and not yours. And inspite of the impact it will have on you, there's nothing you can do.

Ow.

What Is Your Battle Cry?

Skulking along the desert, clutching a sharpened screwdriver, cometh Rynn! And she gives a low howl: "I'm going to clobber you so hard, your screams will reanimate the dead!!"

Find out! Enter username: Are you a girl, or a guy ?

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Rick. Rick has trouble sleeping, too.

Oh, look -- it's 10 to 4 and I'm awake.

I'm a mess. Are bad sleep habits contagious? There's Di, Tavie, and Ben who all have trouble sleeping, granted I only see one of these people on a regular basis, but could I be getting it from her?

And I'm wide-a-fucking-wake, too.

I'm drinking warm milk (warm half and half with some water to cut the cream, but whatever) in the form of hot cocoa. I'm at the point that I'll try pretty much anything.

If anyone has any pointers, let me know.

That would be pointers on falling and staying asleep, I don't need to get pointers on decoupage or sky diving.

I've added a new link on the left side of the screen, it's to the Joe Klocek site. It's not completely ready, but feel free to add the link on your blog and/or sites. By the time the search engines pick it up it will be ready for the public.

PS I am going back and forth on New Guy. Which is to say that I'd like to go back and forth on the New Guy but I don't know if it's the best thing that could happen. I think I'd like to do bad things to him with my tongue but it might ruin what friendship we have. We're scarsly friends yet, no movies, no hanging out at each other's homes, no trading of books -- these are all things that mean friendship to me. The "like" is there, but not much else. Since I don't know him well, do I want to put my tongue on him?

Yeah, I really do.

Sigh!

Overheard at an upscale grocery store, said by a woman, in her 30's, to a couple of small children (I'm talking 5 year olds here) who were whiny and crying about candy: Inner strength, guys.

What the fuck is that? What does that mean? Or more to the point, what can that possibly mean to a little kid? I wanted to smack the inner strength out of that woman until all she could do was lay on the upscale floor and shake like the stupid PC bitch she is.

Ahhhh.

And this is the kinder, gentler Rynn. Can you imagine?

It's crazy the amount I love the move Tombstone. I espcially love the Doc Holiday and how much his friendship meant to him. That moment, when Wyatt says to him just before a gun fight, that Doc doesn't have to come, it doesn't have anything to do with him. Doc gives him a shocked, hurt look and says, "That's a hell of a thing to say to me."

That's what friendship is to me, your fight is my fight.

I also like his quirks when it comes to someone threatening to kill him, Doc says things like, "You're a daisy if you do." And "I'm your huckleberry."

If you haven't seen this movie, you should. It reminds you what is good and real.

Newly thought up, but rejected pick up line: Is your penis cold? Perhaps it would like to be somewhere warm and wet.

I've been meaning to put this site on my list but I haven't yet so I'll put it here. That 1 Guy. He's a They Might Be Giants kinda guy -- he plays one instument which is computerized and maked out of (as far as I can tell) normal metal pipes. Those of you with DSL and cable hook up should take a look at the video. I think dial up might be too slow.

Also, Charles was wonderful on KFOG this morning, I'd say he was awesome, but I'm trying to stop using that word. He was on for the full hour and was funny and personable -- I hope KFOG will take this as a hint of what he can do with an hour.

Charles is going to be on the radio on Wednesday, November 5, doing that Social Grace thing. 7am PST, so that's 10am for you kids on the east coast. I'm getting up to listen, I think you should too: http://www.kfog.com/ Then hit the Click to Listen button. You might have to register, but it'll be worth it, I swear.