I'm on week 4 of the Artist's Way, the week that I must endure reading deprivation. I'm not sure if that means posting on my blog, or if that counts as writing. I have a week of fun to tell you all about but I don't know if I'm allowed to.

I'll read that chapter again and see if I can find a more clear understanding. Except, I'm not allowed to read.

Well, fuck.

By this time tomorrow eva8 will be here. I'm looking forward to showing her my city.

I'm really tired, I'm trying to stay awake. I sat out in the sun and read a couple of times today; when it got too hot I came inside, checked my email, cooled off, then went back outside.

The plan to see a movie with Joe today fell by the wayside when another friend, who I'll call MM, needed his help in a desperate way. I can't go into any details because that wouldn't be right, but lets say that I hope MM finds his way, and can be happy in his life. Send strength MM way, if you have it to spare, he has a long road ahead of him and can use your help.

I had a very good day yesterday.

I had my first session of talk therapy which went very well.

Lunch with Joe included Kamau and allowed me to see them tease each other and listen in on stand up comic talk. I would love to write with them, I think that would be wicked fun.

The meds worked out really well too. It was nice for the doctor to come back from the dead to see me. He was old but really nice. He not only gave me Zoloft but Allegra and Nasernex for my allergies. Sweet!

So I'm happy and able to breathe. Ahhhhhhhh.

Migraine. Head pounding. Stomach churning. Eyes wanting to leave my head.

Why am I sitting her typing instead of going to sleep? Because I have a very busy day tomorrow and I'm afraid if I go to sleep too early I'll wake up at 3am and not be able to go back to sleep. I've got my morning pages to write when I get up, I have to take a shower and get out of the house in time for talk therapy at 11 then lunch with Joe at one then at 5:45 I have to meet with someone about getting my meds on a continuing basis.

I can't stay up any longer I have to go pass out.

I must not nap. I must not nap. I must stay awake until bed time. I must not lay down.

I think I'll go back outside, sit down and read. I was out there earlier doing my Artist's Way stuff, but then the sun was too hot on my back so I came back inside. There should be a shady spot for me to sit in. It's 72 out there -- it seems a shame to be inside.

And it might keep me from falling asleep.

Hey, a week from right now, Eva8 will be landing in SF. I'm sure I'll have some stories to tell from that week.

Talked to Joe yesterday and he says that he and the other comics were worried that the crowd was going to be too cool to laugh. They weren't. The crowd was alive and laughing and he had a good set.

For those of you who put that energy out there, thanks, from me and Joe.

Tonight, at 8pm, PST, Joe will be doing a show in LA that could lead to television exposure.

Think good thoughts for Joe, especially that the crowd isn't of the nodding and smiling ilk. Think good thoughts for a laughing crowd. I'm sure Joe can do the rest.

My loves: go out, buy copies of The Artist's Way, keep one and give the rest to everyone you love. It's just that good.

I feel better about things since starting reading the book than I have in a long time. I have a long road to travel before I'll be 100% better, but at least I feel like I'm on the right road. And I haven't felt this way since talk therapy with Larry.

Do this, you owe it to yourselves.

Thursday, Joe and I went to a bookstore and he bought me a couple of HTML books and a book called The Artist's Way.

I just started reading The Artist's Way but I can tell that I'm going to learn some good stuff. I am still having problems with the word "God." When I see it I try to translate it into something that I do believe in and doesn't conjure up bad feelings.

I haven't done much with the HTML books yet. I flipped through them in the store and gave them a slightly closer look once I got them home but I don't think I do much with them until I've finished The Artist's Way. Hell, it might even give me inspiration to learn the HTML.

Zoloft is still making me tired as if I don't sleep, which I do. I have to say that this particular problem hasn't bothered me in a while, but the problem is that I still feel like I do. Have it. Trouble sleeping. Which I don't.

Am I making any sense? I feel like I'm talking in code.

It's a nice sunny day here, mid 50's at the moment, I haven't gone outside yet. I did shower so I have that out of the way so if I do decide to go for a walk I don't need to do a shower thing. Just go, go, go! To sleep zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

With any luck I'll start hallucinating.