Tavie Reminded Me...

...of my fascination of Lizzie Bordon. I was a very small child when I first heard The Chad Mitchell Trio sing her ballad:

Elizabeth Bordon took an axe
And gave her Mother forty wacks
And when the job was nicely done
She gave her Father forty-one

Yesterday in old Fall River
Mr Andrew Borden died
And he got his daughter Lizzie
On a charge of homicide
Some folks say she didn't do it
And others say of course she did
But they all agree Miss Lizzie B
Was a problem kind of kid

'Cause you can't chop your Papa up in Massachusetts
Not even if it's planned as a surprise (a surprise!)
No, you can't chop your Papa up in Massachusetts
You know how neighbors love to criticize

She got him on the sofa
Where he'd gone to take a snooze
And I hope he went to heaven
'Cause he wasn't wearing shoes
Lizzie kinda rearranged him
With a hatchet so they say
Then she got her Mother
In that same old-fashioned way

But you can't chop your Mama up in Massachusetts
Not even if you're tired of her cuisine (her cuisine)
No, you can't chop your Mama up in Massachusetts
You know it's almost sure to cause a scene

Well, they really kept her hoppin'
On that busy afternoon
With both down and up-stairs chopping
While she hummed a ragtime tune
They really made her hustle
And when all was said and done
She'd removed her Mother's bustle
When she wasn't wearing one

Oh, you can't chop your Mama up in Massachusetts
And then blame all the damage on the mice (on the mice)
No, you can't chop your Mama up in Massachusetts
That kind of thing just isn't very nice

Now, it wasn't done for pleasure
And it wasn't done for spite
And it wasn't done
Because the lady wasn't very bright
She'd always done the slightest thing
That Mom and Papa bid
They said, Lizzie, cut it out
So that's exactly what she did

But you can't chop your Papa up in Massachusetts
And then get dressed and go out for a walk (for a walk)
No, you can't chop your Papa up in Massachusetts
Massachusetts is a far cry from New York

No, you can't chop your Papa up in Massachusetts
Shut the door and lock and latch it
Here comes Lizzie with a brand new hatchet
Can't chop your papa up in Massachusetts
Such a snob, I've heard it said
She met her Pa and cut him dead
You can't chop your Papa up in Massachusetts
Jump like a fish, jump like a porpoise
All join hands and habeas corpus
Can't chop your Papa up in Massachusetts
Massachusetts is a far cry from New York

I understood the lyrics, I was pleased that New England was mentioned, (even at that early age I knew that as part of the United States New England was the redheaded step-child.) And it was about a girl who broke, much like cabin fever in the middle of a long winter, but instead of not talking about it, which is the Old New England way, she had a song about her.

Now understand, it wasn't that I wanted to kill anyone, but it gave me the idea that I didn't have to be invisible like everyone else, I didn't have to fade into the background, thus began my life of being different. Sadly, I was so shy that I couldn't break out the real me that I am now.

So, thank you, murderess, for opening my eyes to the idea of being real.

Next up: how Charles Manson inspired me to cook!

Note to Self

Take Ginkgo Biloba with morning meds, not with night meds.

Four hours sleep, not enough. Makes me feel sleepy even though I'm wide awake.

Tsk.

Fun

I went to lunch with Eva the other day and she took some pictures with her poloroid camera. She gave me one of them.

First Snow Storm of the Year

I'm over it.

Conan and Letterman, Were Always My Favorites

According to this article David Letterman and his company, World Wide Pants, have been and will continue to pay the staff that isn't on strike but isn't working due to the strike. This covers Late Show and the Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson, about 160 people.

Meanwhile Jay Leno, who, according to an unnamed staffer, promised his staff: "I can't get into details, but nobody will miss a car payment or lose their house. We're family. Trust me. I'm going to take care of this,"

Day before yesterday, Friday November 30, 2007, he laid off 80 staff members.

If all the allegations are true, Leno is a bigger asshole than I thought he was. I've felt like he was a complete prick for years, since he started hosting the Tonight Show.

Conan, on the other hand, is paying his people out of his own pocket. I love me some Conan. Always have. I don't watch his show as often as I used to*, but when I think of the late night talk shows, he's the one I like best.

I want to thank Conan and Letterman for being good people, doing the right thing, and helping me to have some more faith in humankind.

*If I were a Nelson Family, I would always "watch."

Could only happen to me

One day, after sewing for many previous days, I noticed that there was a lot of thread ends on the carpet. I mean a lot. There were stretched out bits, balled up bits, and some of different colors that had collected together in short piles. The vacuum was no help, it was an old tank of a thing and didn't have much suction left in it. I gave up on having any mechanical help and set about picking up the threads by hand.

I leaned down to pick up a black thread ball and thought that it looked like a dead spider. As I got it closer I realized that it was a dead spider and dropped it. As it hit the floor the dead spider took off running. I stomped on it, thank goodness I had shoes on.

Needless to say, I stopped picking up thread and bought a new vacuum.