A Recent Conversation

SPARKIE: I read that Martha Stewart only sleeps 4 hours a night.
ME: Did she learn that in prison?
S: Maybe so.
M: She was up all night grinding shivs for everyone.
S: Making shiv cozies for everyone.
M: The special touch is that she made them out of the person's hair. She was up. So she went around at night and take hair out of their brushes.
S: She's giving a dinner party of only things she's excreted from her own body.
M: Did you hear Martha's lactating?
S: Is she? I'll be there.
M: So much for me ever eating again.
S: What are you having?
M: Something really dry.
S: What? Like flour straight out of the bag?
M: Now I want to take a picture of myself eating flour looking shocked, you know all over my face.
S: You could choke, don't die for a sight gag.
M: Yeah, that would be sad.
S: "That's how she wanted to go."

We were laughing so hard I was nearly shrieking.