And in other news...

I made lasagna today.

Cleaning up

I've started picking up and cleaning for the first time since the end of June. I'm embarrassed to admitt that I have dishes in the sink that I put there after the bar-b-que. I have to start making my visual and olfactory life more pleasant or my inside life will continue to decay. Having a routine that makes my life a better thing to live cannot be a bad thing. I just need to do the initial bulldozing and water applying and cobweb removing and organizing (how odd is it that I just noticed that the word base for that is "organ" it makes sense, if your organs are in the wrong place the rest of the body can't work at its full function)

I'm just waiting for Safeway.com to deliver some groceries and I can make the pile in the center of the room that will become a living space that I won't be embarrassed to invite friends to.

Long time no blog

Yeah, it's been a while - on the 5th I turned 44, which I don't recomend. Stay 43 if you can. This has been the worse birthday I've had in years. Not that I didn't get lunch at the Stinking Rose, (thank you, Sparkie) and not that I didn't smoke a little something-something (thanks, Tony) not that my best bud didn't call me first thing and sing our special birthday song (thanks Theanna) but none of this has taken away the depression that started two weeks before my birthday.

I see my new therapist, Margo, for the first time tomorrow. I'm so tired already. I'll have to start over and I need to give her all this information for her to help me but I had made such progress with Chryssa it feels as if I've lost my footing and I'm sliding backward - arms flailing, fingers grasping, but there's just the idea of a hand reaching out to me, to stop the fall. It's going to be such a struggle to pull myself back up to where I was and then climb higher.

Breathe, Rynn, breathe.

Melanie is home

I'm happily sitting sideways on the couch, with my dear G4 on my lap.

The Apple Store gave me a new hard drive, so all my bookmarks, all my email addresses, all my connections are gone. So, if you got an email from me saying that I would be without email for awhile, email me. I can no longer email you.

On the upside they gave me an upgrade on the OS so I now have Tiger.

Whatever that means.

Yay

Melanie comes home tomorrow.

Thank god - this dial up is driving me nuts. I can't believe I ever used this on a daily basis. I think after I get all my information off of this PC, I'm giving it to my friend, Tony. Let it drive him crazy.