Long time no blog

Yeah, it's been a while - on the 5th I turned 44, which I don't recomend. Stay 43 if you can. This has been the worse birthday I've had in years. Not that I didn't get lunch at the Stinking Rose, (thank you, Sparkie) and not that I didn't smoke a little something-something (thanks, Tony) not that my best bud didn't call me first thing and sing our special birthday song (thanks Theanna) but none of this has taken away the depression that started two weeks before my birthday.

I see my new therapist, Margo, for the first time tomorrow. I'm so tired already. I'll have to start over and I need to give her all this information for her to help me but I had made such progress with Chryssa it feels as if I've lost my footing and I'm sliding backward - arms flailing, fingers grasping, but there's just the idea of a hand reaching out to me, to stop the fall. It's going to be such a struggle to pull myself back up to where I was and then climb higher.

Breathe, Rynn, breathe.