I'm Awake Now

I get up from a nap and T is in the bathroom, she says something about she feels better now that the light is at the end of the tunnel, that no offense to me but she can't wait for people to start leaving. Or words to that effect. I say, Melissa will probably get a place before I do because she is on the Section 8 list before me. Then T says something about me leaving by July. This is the first time that July has been mentioned, I say, "What do you mean July?" she tells me that I knew about it and its on my blog. I come here and read the entry about the conversation that we had about me leaving and there is nothing in there about July. I did a search on the word July, and it took me to entries from last July, but nowhere else.

(Something else she said today was that she told me to sign up for Section 8 sooner but I didn't for some reason, and she wasn't sure what those reasons were but that wasn't her problem. )

I do several searches on line about apartments in the area then come out and tell her, that I can't find were I wrote anything about July. Then she says that she told me July, which she didn't. She might have thought it, she might have even told someone else that she wanted me out by July but I was not told that. If July had been mentioned, then I would have written it here. If you look at past entries, especially the one were D tells me I have to be out by June, I'm specific in what happened.

It's aways the fucking way; I have a good day, feel a little good about things and then someone has to ruin it.

I've marked some ads in the paper that I'll call on Monday, even so, I can't depend on anyone to take me to look at the places especially now that there's only one car. But I suppose that that isn't anyone else's problem either.

When I first moved in here I was told that they didn't mind taking me to pick up my meds or taking me to doctor's appointments but all that went away. I almost have to badger them, which I hate, to get meds that I have run out of. I don't like to feel like I'm putting anyone out, I try to think of ways to fit my errands in with someone else's so it isn't out of any one's way.

I'm sure they see if differently, but here I am feeling unloved and tricked again.