Why I Think People Hate Me

I made a comment to Theanna yesterday about staying with someone except they hate me. Then I said, "There's lots of people we can't stay with because they hate me." She asked why I thought that was and that if a lot of people hated her she'd have to think about why.
(It was as if she was waiting for an opening to point out a character flaw, she had been wondering how to bring up the fact that no one liked me.) I said, "If I thought about things like that I'd have to kill myself. Which, apparently, would make a lot of people happy."

Although the conversation ended there, it did make me think about it and needless to say I was hurt.

Not just because my best bud in the whole of time and space had jumped at the opportunity to grab a concept that I was just joking about but because there are a few people who hate me.

I suppose that I'm supposed feel awful about that, but the truth of the matter is that we all make mistakes, we all have someone(s) who hate us, and those that do hate us mostly do because of their own character flaws.

There is only one person who hates me that I feel bad about, and as far as I can tell it was a lack of communication that caused the misunderstanding to become what it is. I wasn't the only one to blame in that, but I do feel bad about my part in it. If I could talk to her, I would try to make amends, I would apologize and try to talk it through with her. I don't see that happening because she has been angry at me for a lot longer than I realised at the time.

Why do people hate me? I speak my mind, I don't put up with bullshit, and I am loyal to a fault. I believe that a person should stand by their word, communication is always the way, and that scape goating is for the unevolved. I love who I love, and disloyalty is about as bad as you can be.

Put all that together and you get someone who appears self righteous, stubborn and maybe a little naive.

I also know that there are a lot more people who love me then those who don't, I think that says more then any post could.

So there.