Here we go again
I was told the other day that my morals do not match the household where I am staying.
Before I moved in here I was told that I could live rent free, not worry about buying food, just relax, take care of myself and save money so I can move back west. At that time, I told this person that I wouldn't be his maid. He said that that was fine as long as I vacuumed once in awhile.
My morals come into play when I did as I said I would and he expected something different. When told to fill the dishwasher, I replied that I had done the last load (which I had). A few hours later he snapped at me, "The next time I tell you to do the dishes, you better do the fucking dishes!" I told him that he needed to watch his tone. He told me that then I better go outside, I refused and demanded to know what the problem was; I was doing anything different than anyone else in the house. As far as I could see we were taking turns doing the dishes. And he kept throwing up the point that I was living rent free, finally I said that he couldn't use that against me because that was his idea and I told him I wasn't going to be his maid up front. He and his partner work full time jobs blah blah blah I should be cleaning the house blah blah blah.
I told him that if I could get up and clean the house then I could get up and go to work. I told him that he must not think I'm really disabled, he didn't say anything but I know that's what he was thinking.
The other thing I made him promise was that he would talk to me honestly - if something was bothering him, he had to talk to me about it. He didn't and suddenly I'm the bad guy.
What it comes down to is that he isn't true to his word - he promised he wouldn't smoke in the house (he does) he promised to teach me to drive (he hasn't) he promised to buy me a car (he won't). His word means nothing and that hurts me. I now have to process him into a different category ("Friends to be Taken with a Grain of Salt.") I had high hopes for him.
He wanted to rescue me but not keep me.
As I write this I'm in my best friend's house, I have a room here now. I feel as though I'm dangling on a thread; if I'm asked to leave this household, I'll have nowhere to go. I don't see it happening, but I didn't see being asked to leave the other place either.
typed with reckless abandon by Rynn @ 2:48:00 PM
2 Comments:
Was this guy a smoker before you moved in? I don't smoke, but if someone offered me a place to stay for free I don't feel I have the right to tell them they can't smoke in their own home just because it offends me. I'm just trying to understand how you feel you can do that to someone. I don't understand why you can't do the dishes. From what you've said all you have to do is load a dishwasher. Are you physically disabled? It's not unreasonable for your friend to expect you to do the dishes while he's at
work all day and you're at home. Also, why is he obligated to buy you a car?
Well, "Anomymous," all the things I'm complaining about are things that he offered to do before I moved in. He told me that he would be only smoking on the porch until he quit. I'm allgeric to ciggerette smoke, so I told him that I appreaciate his thoughtful offer. As I say, he wasn't true to his word.
I think you might want to read the post again; I was up front with what I can and cannot do, and he still wanted me to move in. So, yes, it is unreasonable for him to expect things from me that I can't expect from myself AND what I told him I could not do.
Also, he said he would teach me to drive and buy me a car, I didn't ask him to, he offered.
Not true to his word.
Sign your name next time, or I'll delete the comment without readng it.
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