Again I implore

How do you fall in love? Is there a code word that you whisper out of the corner of your mouth that lets the others know that you're ready? Is it a look, a smile, a way to lick your lips that alerts the world that you're open for business? Do you have to sign up? Or send in a card to register? Is there a cookie that I've failed to enable?

I want to be warmed by loving arms and to rest my head on a ready shoulder. I want to roll over and have someone in the way. I want to steal the blankets and feel cold feet against my calves.

I want to hold a hand that wants to hold mine and feel comfortable and trusting when I let go.

How do I get there? The road signs are in another language and the natives think it's funny that I don't understand. I hear that it's easier than I'm making it out but easier like math? Because if that's the case I'm fucked. Or not fucked if you want the reality. Not touched, not kissed, not loved. The only cold feet in my bed are my own.

I am lost.