It's been a very long, low week. I've had to justify myself waaaay too much, all while feeling that I'd just like to lay down till it all went away. I haven't liked myself in a way that I haven't felt since the first of the year, before the antidepressants. It could be that my birthday just past, it could be that the antidepressants aren't working anymore, it could be that this is the life I chose to live before I was born.

I don't know, and I'm too tired to figure it out.

Didn't sleep well last night, ear ache and twitchiness kept me up and watching tv till after 2am, then I was up at 9:30am. That sounds like a full night's sleep, but it was not a straight through thing. I was awake and sleep all night.

Is it wrong to expect more and better? Is it silly to expect someone to look at the whole picture before deciding that they are being attacked? Wouldn't it be easier if I just went away where I wouldn't have to deal with it again, and again, and again. Isn't an opinion something that everyone should be allowed to have? Doesn't a feeling of guilt mean that someone has done something that they did wrong and should be ashamed of? Am I worrying the same scab that I should just let heal into a pale scar?

I don't know. I'm tired.