I hate to use one of my first chances to blog in a very long time to air some of the troubling thoughts bubbling in my head.

I wonder now if turning down my friend for sex was a good idea.

I don't know who I would trust more with such a task. He knows me well, not that well, you understand, but well enough to make what could be a bad situation into an enjoyable one. I wonder now if he might have been joking; breaking the tension that my disturbing news created. I'm on the verge of asking him if it was a joke, but what if it was? I don't know if I want to know. The thing is, I don't think he finds me attractive so what could the act be for him, but an act if not a joke.

I can't stop thinking about it.

I'm tempted to direct him to this post so he see what my brain is doing.

What should I do?