I've been mini posting because I'm avoiding thinking about my life and what I'm doing with it.

I can honestly say that I have wonderful friends, I do have a talent for picking lovely people to hang with and listen to me when I keep banging my head against the same wall.

Men. Tsk, I don't know why I still think about men, I should just give up. Every man I've ever been attracted to have either been too young, too married, too moving away, too not interested in me. I know there are men who like fat girls but since that's one of the bits of being me that I'm sickened by, I'm in no way interested in them. Should I just give in and become a bar fly? Be the chick that anyone can have for a the price of a beer? I would hope not, at least I hope I would hold out for something imported.

I've got to get back on antidepressants or I'm never going to get out of this rut. I hate feeling this way, but I have no energy to make the phone calls or the appointments I have to make to get better.

I wanted to say more here, but I've run out of steam.