I'm embarrassed and a little hurt.

I received an email from a friend that was clearly meant for someone else. I say this because it was about me in a tone that threw me for a second. In this email, it was said that I wouldn't listen to advice that this friend wanted to, or felt like they couldn't, give me.

I'm embarrassed because I feel like I looked in someone's diary and discovered a dirty secret.

And I'm hurt because I wasn't given a chance to listen or not listen to the advice that my friend was talking about.

The email was sent from someone who I thought I had an honest, say anything you think/believe relationship with. Now I'm doing that universal reevaluation; what else did I get wrong?

I suppose that I wouldn't feel quite so bad if my antidepressants were working, the Welbutrion isn't working at all, (in fact I called my doctor today to be put on a new drug) and I'm being bombarded with old thought processes.

I can logically see that it was a mistake, my friend wasn't talking to me, and everyone has a bad day or feeling about someone that they care about, but I don't feel it.

Sad. I'm feeling sad now. Still embarrassed. Still hurt. Now sad.

I replied, because I don't like secrets, and let my friend know that the email was sent to me. I don't know what else to do.

I know I'm being obsessive, I haven't felt this way for awhile, but I remember the feeling. It's "...like a cut on the roof of your mouth that you know you shouldn't tongue, but you do." That's from Fight Club, I think I got it right. I know that it's the feeling, things I should let go but can't. I hope I get the new meds soon, I don't like feeling like this.